We had to be at the "bus station" by 2:00 a.m. to catch a bus. The bus station is a huge dirt lot where all the buses are lined up. It has an old station building but it is rundown and there is no power so it is virtually useless. There are no lights except for the light of the moon to guide you and you walk around the maze of buses and people looking for the bus you want.
We found the one going to Bulawayo and paid the guy $20 for the tickets and got on board. I had heard that travelling by "chicken bus" was very uncomfortable but cheap. We had two seats and the third seat was empty so I thought we were in for a smooth ride. However, a short time later, we stopped and more people got on. Our third seat was now occupied and the row in front of us was taken by three very drunk men, one of whom was loud and obnoxious. We had planned on sleeping during the trip but that didn't seem likely now.
We had another stop a bit later and more people got on. There weren't any more seats left and I didn't understand how these people were going to find a place to sit, but they started putting all their luggage and stuff in the aisle and standing next to it.
At one stop I had to use the toilet so David got the conductor to take me off the bus. We were at the back so I literally had to step on people and their belongings to get out. The whole time I'm maneuvering around people, I'm asking the conductor if this is a real restroom he is taking me to. He's not answering. At the front of the bus, children sleeping on the steps had to move for me to get out, and there was one child sprawled out on the dashboard. Really.
I asked him where to go and he pointed to the bushes along the road. They will gladly leave you behind so I was quick and got back on the bus, waded through the throng again, and made it back to my seat. More people boarded the bus at another stop--I don't know where they put them--I was half asleep and didn't care.
We found the one going to Bulawayo and paid the guy $20 for the tickets and got on board. I had heard that travelling by "chicken bus" was very uncomfortable but cheap. We had two seats and the third seat was empty so I thought we were in for a smooth ride. However, a short time later, we stopped and more people got on. Our third seat was now occupied and the row in front of us was taken by three very drunk men, one of whom was loud and obnoxious. We had planned on sleeping during the trip but that didn't seem likely now.
We had another stop a bit later and more people got on. There weren't any more seats left and I didn't understand how these people were going to find a place to sit, but they started putting all their luggage and stuff in the aisle and standing next to it.
At one stop I had to use the toilet so David got the conductor to take me off the bus. We were at the back so I literally had to step on people and their belongings to get out. The whole time I'm maneuvering around people, I'm asking the conductor if this is a real restroom he is taking me to. He's not answering. At the front of the bus, children sleeping on the steps had to move for me to get out, and there was one child sprawled out on the dashboard. Really.
I asked him where to go and he pointed to the bushes along the road. They will gladly leave you behind so I was quick and got back on the bus, waded through the throng again, and made it back to my seat. More people boarded the bus at another stop--I don't know where they put them--I was half asleep and didn't care.
We finally got to Bulawayo around 8:30 am. David forgot to copy his ID so we had to find a place that made copies. The power was out so it was difficult to find one with working copiers. Then on to the passport office. This place was like the DMV only 10 times worse. It was hot and humid and of course had no air conditioning and jam packed with people. There was a long line at Counter 2 where David was supposed to go but luckily we had called earlier and arranged to get the "deluxe" treatment for a mere $50 extra. Zimbabwe works on this bribe system for everything.
We went to the front of the queue and people didn't get upset or anything--they must know that this stuff happens and learn to deal with it. The guy told David his ID was too faded and he would have to get another. This usually takes several days and we only had a few hours so the guy called a friend of his at the ID office and arranged for David to get a new ID that day for a mere $20 extra.
We walked over to the ID office, about 10 blocks away, and found out that the office did not have power so we walked back to the passport office, at which time the guy phoned another friend and had us go back to the ID office to a different dept. that had electricity.
We went back to the passport office with the new ID and the guy took David's paperwork and told him to come back at 2:00. It was 12:30 so we went to have lunch and shop a bit.
We went to the front of the queue and people didn't get upset or anything--they must know that this stuff happens and learn to deal with it. The guy told David his ID was too faded and he would have to get another. This usually takes several days and we only had a few hours so the guy called a friend of his at the ID office and arranged for David to get a new ID that day for a mere $20 extra.
We walked over to the ID office, about 10 blocks away, and found out that the office did not have power so we walked back to the passport office, at which time the guy phoned another friend and had us go back to the ID office to a different dept. that had electricity.
We went back to the passport office with the new ID and the guy took David's paperwork and told him to come back at 2:00. It was 12:30 so we went to have lunch and shop a bit.
Unfortunately, the buses going back to Vic Falls had already left so we now had to try to catch the 5:00 pm minivan called a "combi". (David said if we didn't make it, we would have to hitchhike home!) We went back to the passport office and the guy said David needed to write a letter stating why he wanted a passport so he wrote how much he loves me and wants to go to the U.S. to marry me. Swoon.
I couldn't handle the heat anymore so I went outside. While I was waiting, I talked to a couple of women who had been there for 4 days trying to get some document. FOUR DAYS.
Finally about 4:00 pm David came out of the office smiling. The paperwork had been processed and he was set to receive his passport in 2 weeks. And remember, we were considered lucky because we had money to get faster treatment. Most of these people wait for days to get what we got in a mere 8 hours.
I couldn't handle the heat anymore so I went outside. While I was waiting, I talked to a couple of women who had been there for 4 days trying to get some document. FOUR DAYS.
Finally about 4:00 pm David came out of the office smiling. The paperwork had been processed and he was set to receive his passport in 2 weeks. And remember, we were considered lucky because we had money to get faster treatment. Most of these people wait for days to get what we got in a mere 8 hours.
We got a taxi to the van meeting area. I thought the bus ride was bad. Oh no. It gets worse. We were crammed into this little van so tightly that we could not even sit straight across. We were sort of zig-zagged across the seat so we could all fit. There were four of us across, four in the front (including the driver), four in the seats behind us and four behind that.
I was really stressed out and didn't think I would do very well for the 7 hour ride. I took a Xanax and hoped I could just relax enough to get through it but my head hurt, I was very tired and cranky, and at this point, tired of the Africa experience. When another guy got in and stooped over our row with his legs standing on the boarding platform, I took another Xanax and tried to chill out.
About 1/2 hour into the ride, someone's luggage fell off the top of the van and we had to stop. David and I got out to stretch and he wanted to know If I was doing okay. I just started crying and told him that I just couldn't be squished anymore. I told him to ask my friends at home how they always hear me say, "I don't want to be squished," whenever we go anywhere. He tried to comfort me by saying that "This is Africa and this is how we travel." I sobbed, "But I'm an American and I'm not used to this crazy kind of travel." After some minutes, we got back in the van and I figured I needed another Xanax for the rest of the ride home. I know the prescription says 'take one tablet 3 times a day as needed' and the doctor probably didn't mean all at once but this was an exception!
I was really stressed out and didn't think I would do very well for the 7 hour ride. I took a Xanax and hoped I could just relax enough to get through it but my head hurt, I was very tired and cranky, and at this point, tired of the Africa experience. When another guy got in and stooped over our row with his legs standing on the boarding platform, I took another Xanax and tried to chill out.
About 1/2 hour into the ride, someone's luggage fell off the top of the van and we had to stop. David and I got out to stretch and he wanted to know If I was doing okay. I just started crying and told him that I just couldn't be squished anymore. I told him to ask my friends at home how they always hear me say, "I don't want to be squished," whenever we go anywhere. He tried to comfort me by saying that "This is Africa and this is how we travel." I sobbed, "But I'm an American and I'm not used to this crazy kind of travel." After some minutes, we got back in the van and I figured I needed another Xanax for the rest of the ride home. I know the prescription says 'take one tablet 3 times a day as needed' and the doctor probably didn't mean all at once but this was an exception!
I somehow wedged myself between David and the window so I could sleep (or maybe I actually passed out) and when we stopped again it was dark and we were in this rest stop that sort of reminded me of a fake Disneyland village. There was a cluster of little shops and everything was dark because the electricity was out but they had a few candles burning in each of the shops. It was so pretty.
I don't know if it was because I was drugged and tired or what, but I found this so charming and I was running around to each shop buying Cokes, and chicken pieces, and these big puffy balls of fried dough covered in sugar--like a donut-- that were just yummy, and we bought pieces of fish at another place. I kept asking everyone if they had napkins, and David told me to stop asking because everyone thought I wanted nappies (diapers).
We finally arrived in Vic Falls around 11:30 pm. I was exhausted and couldn't remember a more difficult trip. David said it was a "very good" trip by African standards. No problem. Whatever you say, darling. Next time we're taking the Pathfinder bus for $60 a seat. I'm buying.
I don't know if it was because I was drugged and tired or what, but I found this so charming and I was running around to each shop buying Cokes, and chicken pieces, and these big puffy balls of fried dough covered in sugar--like a donut-- that were just yummy, and we bought pieces of fish at another place. I kept asking everyone if they had napkins, and David told me to stop asking because everyone thought I wanted nappies (diapers).
We finally arrived in Vic Falls around 11:30 pm. I was exhausted and couldn't remember a more difficult trip. David said it was a "very good" trip by African standards. No problem. Whatever you say, darling. Next time we're taking the Pathfinder bus for $60 a seat. I'm buying.
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