At Odds with the Oven

I tried to bake the other day. What a fiasco that was. Our stove/oven is possessed with a mind of its own and pretty much does whatever it wants to do. There are 6 knobs across the top of the stove and no writing of any kind anywhere on the stove or the knobs. When we first started cooking with it, we had to turn on all the burners because we didn't know which knob went to which burner as none of the knobs corresponded to any of the burners. 

We would stand there trying to cook and David would be touching the burners to see if it was a "hot" burner so we could boil water or a "low-medium" burner that we could simmer something on. We finally figured out that one burner goes on anytime the stove is turned on, two burners work somewhat normally, and the 4th does not work at all. And we have to wear flip-flops when we cook because if we touch the stove in bare feet, we get shocked. 

One day I wanted to bake some brownies. I bought a muffin pan and all the ingredients and thought I would try to make them as muffins. I could not find cake pans or cookie sheets so I made do with what I had. It was difficult figuring out the ingredient amounts because I don't have measuring cups and the ingredients are all listed in metric. I found a can that was 100grams and used that as the basis for all my measurements. I finally put together what I thought was a pretty good batch and filled the greased and floured muffin tins with batter. 

Our (possessed) oven only has one temperature. You can have it broil with the top burner or bake with the bottom burner. We figured out which set of knobs turned a certain way would do each. I had the brownies baking for a while and when I checked on them I saw all 12 brownies had spread out over the top of the muffin pan touching each other like one big brownie, and where each muffin was supposed to be, the brownie was caved in like a little swimming pool. I took them out and thought, "oh well. They will still taste good." (I had planned to give them to my friends at Masuwe.) 

I tried to get one out and it was stuck on tight. I tried to pry it out with a fork and finally was able to scrape it all out. All of them were stuck like glue to the pan and I ended up with a large heap of brownie bits and crumbs. David said they wouldn't know if I told them it was an American dessert called Brownie Crumbs and you're supposed to eat it this way, but I just couldn't bring myself to give them to anyone. 

My second foray into baking came with the inspiration on the flour sack for scones. How hard could scones be? I mixed up a batch and cut them out with the peanut butter jar lid and put them on a roasting pan in a hot oven. For some reason the oven burner switched from the bottom burner to the top broiler burner even though I had the setting on what we always used as the oven setting. I tried to get the bottom burner to go on but it wouldn't and I ended up with scones that were burned on the top and very dry. (We ate the bottoms and they were okay.) 

But I was determined not to let Africa win, so I made another batch a few days later. This time, nothing would go wrong. The bottom burner lit up properly and I put the scones in. I came back 20 minutes later and the oven had gone off. I tried again to get it to work and it would go on and then go off again some minutes later. The scones were in the oven for over an hour and a half at this on and off low temperature and they ended up being hard as rocks. I am no longer inspired to bake. 

I am attempting to cook a roast this evening for dinner. I don't know how it will come out but I'm crossing my fingers that the oven is having a good day. When I bought the roast yesterday, I asked the guy how to cook it. He said, "oh, I'm sorry mama, I don't know how to cook this. We could never afford to buy this meat so we have never cooked it before. I will call the madam and she will tell you how to cook it." 

He took out his cell phone and dialed someone and I heard him explain what I wanted to this woman on the line. He was quiet a moment and then he said "she is white". (She wanted to know before she told me how to cook it if I was black or white! I guess she wanted to know if she should tell me how to roast it in an oven or over an open fire!!) 

Anyway, she told me to roast it an hour per kilogram. I told her my oven didn't have any temperature settings. She said, "I know, mine doesn't either. What I do is just open the door occasionally to let out some of the heat and it adjusts the temperature so it doesn't get too hot. It will be fine." It actually came out pretty good.

No matter what the down sides of being in Zimbabwe are or the challenges I've encountered, I would never trade this experience for anything. It has been so incredible and I have had so much fun. Of course, spending so much time with David has been the best of all. The life here is so simple and the people so lovely. Everyday I get up and make coffee and feed the kitty that adopted us. Then I put on shorts, a tank top and my flip flops and do whatever I want to do that day, which usually involves going into town, checking email (when the internet is not down), shopping for food at the store or the open market, or having drinks with friends. 


I admit that I am a bit homesick and miss some of the many options we have at home to do for fun. Like, sometimes I just want to be able to go to the movies. I am looking forward to showing David life in the U.S. I know he will have culture shock. He originally grew up in a village where they had mud huts with thatched roofs and cow dung on the floor. The kitchen was a hut with an open fire pit in the center and sometimes he would sleep near it to keep warm. 

Of course, now he has better living accommodations but nothing like my house at home. I don't know if he's ready for the impact that being in the U.S. will have on him. He asked me once how many lanes of tarred road we have. I told him there are some with 12 lanes across (counting both sides.) He just stared at me like I was nuts. Oh, yes. It will be culture shock, for sure.